Diana Carolyn's Story
My name is Diana and I am twenty-three years old.
I come from a family of six children and grew up in Sweden till I was six years old. My mother is Greek, my Father Swedish.
In Sweden on a farm, with no people to be found was the climate of my early life. Just two fucked up parents and screaming babies everywhere.
My father abused my since I was an infant untill I was six years old. He did everything to me. He stuck his finger up my vagina, up my anus. He rubbed my body on his genitals. He rubbed his penis on my vagina. He stuck his penis in my mouth. He put his penis in my vagina. He raped me standing up. He raped me from behind. And he took pornographic pictures of me. All before the precious age of six.
Where was my mother, you ask? My mother was in either a manic or depressive phase or locked in her room with a migrane.
Or she was pregnant or giving birth.
What did she do when she found a porographic picture of me laying around the house? She blamed it on one of my brothers, not our father, who had piles of pornography in the bedroom.
What did she do when I showed her a scabby rash on my vagina as a way to get her help? NOTHING
I've been in therapy for three years, remembering all the crap that was done to me by my parents.
Rape rape rape. And more rape.
Today I was thinking of killing myself but reading these stories show me that I'm not the only one with screwed up experiences.
I don't know where I'm going but I think I may regret suicide if I were to do it.
Sandra's Story
I loved my mom. I always wanted to be around her. My "real" father dropped her, my older sister, me and my brother at one of our aunt's house. She remarried to a man much older than her (22 years). She divorced him because my sister (5 at the time) caught him with his hands in my pants (I was a 3).
After divoricing him, she met another man. He is younger than her. He was 21 at the time they got together. I was almost 5. Ma was always going to the bingo, everyday. On the weekends, she would go in the afternoon and night. I hated that because those were the times that he would come to me. I did not call him dad until I was in third grade. It was when I was in third grade when he first decided to put his penis inside of me. In "thier" bedroom. For years he had me sucking him and looking at him. I did not know it but for years and years and years he would masturbate in front of me or he would have me give him a hand job. I was between the ages of 5-10. I did not know what the heck was going on but I did know that it was wrong.
I did not know what to do. I did not talk to hardly anyone. I was too scared to do anything. I was scared Ma would beat me up. And she did, but not for telling on him. I did not do that until he tried to rape me again when I was 15.
Oh, what he did was horrible but Ma did her part too. No, she never sexually abused me. She hurt my mind so much. I could not take a shower without asking permission from her. If I did she would get mad and say I was doing that just to get him to look at me. I could not sit next to my brother because she was telling everyone that he and I were having sex. (I have never even seen him naked or thought about it).
When I was in 7th grade Ma had a little boy, 8th grade she had a little girl and in 9th grade she had another little girl. I love them so much but they are going through a lot of mental abuse from my mother. I dont know what to do. It makes me sad to think that they are going through a few of the many things that I had to.
Oh, my older sister left home, got married and had a girl when she was 14 years old. She is 31 how with four kids ranging from 17-9. I love them as well. They go through so much. They do not get that physical abuse. They go without food and electricity. They have to move around alot because my sister can not stay at a job long enough for anything. She tries but thats not enough.
I am praying for all of us. I know that all of us need Jesus in our hearts. He is our Lord and savior. We just have to realize that. I thank Him everyday that I am alive. I know if He would not have been watching over me all these years I would be dead by my own hands.
Thank You Lord for loving me.
Anonymous's Story
The frist time i was raped was when i was only 8 yrs old and the person who did it was my own grandpa it hurted so bad that i wanted to cry but it just wouden't come out and until now i haven't told anybody i am 17 yrs. old now and i am scared to tell anybody. if you would like to now more e-mail me at diazmel2003ATyahoo.com
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