Anonymous' Story
i've never told anyone this
when i was talking to my friends on icq this person added me to their list so i started talking to this person. he kept on saying that he loves me and that he knows where i live, so i asked him and he was right. later in the conversation i found out that it was my old crush from grade 7 (i was only in grade 8 so only 1 year past). since he was in grade 10 now he wasn't in my school anymore.
so when he asked me out i siad "yeah sure, but my friends going to come" at that time i wasn't sure if i can trust him totally so i brought a friend (also cuz i didn't want to wait alone). when we got to the meeting place he wasn't there yet so we waited, and in about 5 minutes or so we saw him. i introduced him to my friend and then my friend left to leave us alone. after she was out of site me and him (i'll call him josh) left into josh's car to go to the movies or at least that was what we had planned to do.
i told him that i had to be home in 3 hours. and he said sure. then when we turned the wrong way i told him that we were going the wrong way, and all he siad was that we were going to right way and i'll see when we get there. since he seemed like a really nice guy from what i learned from him i didn't thnk much of it.
when we stopped we were at his house his parents were out on a honeymoon, so the house was empty. i siad i didn't want to go in but somehow he was able to get me to go in a chill with him. when we got in we sat down and watched some t.v. thats when it started to go bad.
he would start rubbing my leg then moving up to my virgina and then to my chest (boobs). i took his hand off and told him not to so he stopped for a while. then after a little while he asked me to go upstaires with him cuz he wanted to give me something. i told him to just bring it down but he siad that it was something to hard to bring down, of course i didn't no what he meant but he was soo persuading so i went upstairs with him.
when we got upstairs he siad it was in his room so we went in, after i got in josh locked the door behind me and i asked him what that was for and he siad u'll see and pushed me onto the bed.
i tried to get off but he was ontop of me and he was too strong he was all muscles, and he was also twice the size of me so i couldn't get off. then i asked him to get off me so he did, but when i tried to get out of the room he cought me by the wrist and took out a gun. i still remember the exact words he siad, he siad "get back on the bed u whore, or i'll just have to kill u".
with that i slowly walked back to the bed and sat down. he got me to lie down and he got ontop of me, he then slowy took off all my clothes at that time i started to beg him to plz just let me go and all he siad was "i got 3 hours to do whatever i want with u y would i let u go".
when all my clothes were off he got out 4 long pieces of rope he then tied me to his bed sides (it was the kind of bed that had poles on each corner). then he put down the gun and got undressed. when he was done he got onto the bed and made me proform oral sex on him. then he would rub his dick all over me all the way down to my virgina. i asked and pleaded for him to not put it in me and that i was still a virgin. all he siad was "well now u'll get to lose ur virginity, won't u?". at that time i finally realizes that i was crying, when i was trying to hold the tears back i saw and heard him open a comdom. he then got down to my ear ans wispered "ur going to be one with me now, r u ready?". he then stuck his dick in, it hurt soo bad. then he would eject his sperm into me at that point i fell unconsious.
when i woke up i say him all dressed and sitting on me but for some reason i was still tied up. i asked him y he didn't untie me and all he did was go to the door and yell "she's awake come get some". then he turned back to me and siad "ur an ok kid but i can't hogg u all to myself".
with that i saw 15 some guys standing in the room looking at me. then with "have a good time" josh left. i was all alone in a room with 15 or so guys getting ready to rape me.
someone siad "lets get the party started", and with that all the guys came running to me. that i was raped over and over agian by each one of them. until i saw the door open and i saw josh i was soo scared that he would bring more guys in. but istead he got all the guys off of me and got me untied and dressed with that he siad "time up i got to take her home".
on the way back to my house i asked him y he would do such a thing and all he siad was "it was just some fun losen up a bit". then he got me home and before i left he wispered in my ear that he was sorry and that he was hoping that i wouldn't tell. and for some reason i never siad this to anyone.
all i did was take a long shower and pertend that nothing has ever happened. i guess u could even say that i forgot about it for a while or at least tried to. till..... just a week ago when i saw him agian this time he came up to me and apologized and gave me his # and told me to phone him and that he has something really important to say.
well thnx for listening i hope i didn't bring back painfull memories.
-Anonymous
Ashley's Story
My story is somewhat confuseing. I feel like I've been sexually abused most of my life up until about a year or less ago. I guess I can say it started with my cousin when I was probably around 7 or 8.... we are the same age. It started with him just rubbing my legs... and then my but... but the older we got... the more it became. The touching began to get really sexual... up to the point that a year ago... and still now... wanting to have sex. My own blood cousin. This would be my dads sisters son. Having that happen so young... I learned to freeze-up, and not move till it was over. I never knew to tell him no till i got older. Now he knows that I don't put up with it... Then last feburary of "03... I was raped by a black guy. He was a guy I was seeing, not really dateing... I had still been a virgen at 16 ( I am 17 now).... That guy I was seeing... folowed me home, and no one is home when I get home.... he found my room... pulled me in... and raped me... it was the worst experience of my life... and I don't wish it on my worst enemy. You never forget the pain. Later my mother found out... my dad went out and got drunk... it was a nightmare... my mom called the police... but I didn't wanna press charges... I couldn't go through all the of that... I just wanted it to be over... I felt so dirty talking to the cops about it... it was miserable
Then last november... I was dateing another guy... I did sleep with him... but we eventually broke up.... he was cheeting... and just being very cruel.... I seen him at the bus station... and he took my things and ran down an ally... i never thought a thing since we where outside... but it was an old ally.... this one has a turn... and a dead end.... He shoved me agains the wall.. bent over with my face in the brick.... and raped me. To me... this was worse than the first... the first... he wasn't as abusive with it as this person was... I had to walk back to the bus station... by myself... shakeing... crying... and I got the bus back home... took a shower... and didn't tell a person... i guess i'm weak to those of you that did report it... you have more courage than I....
much love to you all... and thank you for listening...
If you would like to get a hold of me.... I have an online journal... please visit... and leave comments
www.ujournal.org
confusedfreak18
(click on that name and it will take you to my journal)
Kabby's Story
was in my own home. My daughter was sleeping. I was playing around on the computer, like any other night when my children are sleeping. I'd seen him before, he lived across the street. He'd always behaved oddly and it left me feeling uneasy around him. I began making sure that my door was locked all the time, not just at night, but one night after company left, I forgot to check it.
He had a knife that I can only describe as one like my grandfather had and used for cleaning fish. It was rusty looking and when he told me that he'd gut me and my sleeping child, I didn't doubt it.
I had cuts on my hands because when he began to sodmomize me I tried so hard to fight it. It hurt worse than anything I can remember to date. I vommited at some point from the shock and fear. I wanted to scream and in my own mind, I was screaming, but I knew that if I made a sound he'd cut my throat. He'd told me he would. I can still smell his horrible breath, like a lemony-beer smell. It was awful. I blacked out for atleast a few moments because when I came to, he was gone. I remember crawling to the front door, trying to make sure it was locked. I showered for atleast an hour and crawled into the small toddler bed with my sleeping daughter, where I guarded her through tears all night.
That happend a year and a half ago, on a cold November night. I never told a soul until recently,because I was too afraid of not being believed and sure that somehow, it was/is my fault. I've been extreemly depressed, suicidal and became an alcoholic for 9 months.
I finally got the courage up a few weeks back to tell my husband what had happend to me. I've always known he was/is an insensitive prick but what he told me really twisted the dagger that's burried in my heart. He said "So what? What does that have to do with me?"
The other day I told my best friend. She and I have an appointment next week to see a rape counsilor. She made the appointment and she's going with me.
-Kabby
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