Ali Cat's Story
Ali Cat's Story
I was all of 5 maybe 6 years old when it happened.
We had just moved into a very nice neighborhood, my house was nice, the location was nice, and the park across the street was very nice. I liked most of my neighbors, all but one.
I had a friend 2 guy friends, Mike and James, and a girl friend, Sarah (James's older sister) We all loved to do stuff together. Well soon enough, a new neighbor (right next door moved in) He was 14 maybe 15 at the time, and he used to hang out with Mike. He would take us all (James, Mike, Sarah and I) and show us things in my garage. Like he would touch us, and grab the guys, he'd show us how to have oral sex, and handjobs etc. Well one day, i was talking to chris outside, alone. He pulled me into my bushes and told me to pulldown my pants, i did as i was told, because he told me there was NOTHING wrong with what we were doing. He pushed inside me, kissed me there several times, and told me I was okay.
This carried on on a daily basis for nearly 2 months, when he mother caught us. She told me mom, and my mother told the police.
I never really thought of it as "rape" i never thought of it as BAD. Until this year, i was listening to my best friend tell me about when she was raped, and it sounded firmilar, so i told her my story. She told me that yea, it was considered rape. My last boyfriend, Doug, didnt understand why i didnt want to have sex with him, when i told him, i began to cry histarically. Until this day, i really dont talk about it
-Ali Cat
heather mcculloch's Story
my name is heather im 22 years old,i live in a small town in connecticut.i have been sexually abused for half of my life.its hard for me to talk about this stuff since i was never believed in the first place.i was about 5 years old when it first started i remember it like it was yesterday my uncle(marty)used to molest me.i used to go and visit my father on the weekends he lived with his parents my(grandparents)i would be sleeping infront of the television and i would wake up with his fingers in me that used to happen almost ever time i went there,or if he would come to my house i would wake up the same way,sometimes he would make me hump him in the hallway of my grandparents house and its funny how no one would ever catch him it was like everyone was to blind to see or just didn't pay enough attention.i have two other sisters we'll callthem c and s when my sister c was younger it happened to her although she had the strength to tell she told that made me feel stong enough to tell,but when i told my mother didn't believe me,she thought i was just saying it to get attention,i don't know why she would think that,i was a little girl.so after all that happened he went to jail for 6months thats all he got now me and my sister have to live with this for the rest of our lives.after that we stopped seeing our father for awhile,then my mother met this guy dave,he had a son named dave also, that lived in west virginia i had to be eight at this time.so my mother and dave got a house together and talked about his son coming to live with us,it was decided that he would come to connecticut.he moved in i dont exactly remember how it started,but i know it started with a kiss,i thought in some odd way that he was like a boyfriend since our parents were never married it was like i lived in this brainwashed world and he was gonna make things, better but it didnt happen that way.im sorry if i get to detailed in my story.i remember the first time he sexually assulted we were in this shed he had me on top of him putting his fingers inside me he made me bleed now i was only 8 at this time so i didnt know if he cut me or if his finger was bleeding alls i know is that it hurt.and i was to afraid or unafraid to yell or tell someone,sometimes i didnt want to get him in trouble since in my head i thought that he loved me and was my older boyfriend,and that it was ok,the molesting happened for awhile like numerous times,i had to be 9years old when thee rapeing started,ok now hes like a 15 or16 year old male im not to sure on the age but he was in high school at the time he would do it when no one was around or our parents left t go somewhere and i dont know why but everytime our parents left i would stay home with him,and i dont know why knowing what would happen he would have me perform oral sex on him then he would put his fingers inside then he would try to have sex with me sometimes he would be able to have intercoures with me and sometimes not,the one time he did it all the way was when he and my brother did it to me my brother was younger so i think he looked up to him,so they would take turns having there way with me the younger one would go first to loosen me up as they would put it'so that went on for awhile,it would stop for acouple weeks then start up again. then our parents wanted to move to a small town where the education was better and the rent was cheaper after all there was 7of us living in a tiny apartment i have 2 others sisters that lived there too,so i thought by moving to a whole nother place that maybe things would change and i would have the brothers that i wanted,it didnt stop.now it happened alot more than i had thought my mothers boyfreinds son his name is david jr.and the other ones name is david too!so ....now david jr always played head games with me telling me that he was my boyfriend and that everything was ok but if i wanted to tell that he would be ready to confess,at this point that really confused me alot,i felt like if i told i would lose my boyfriend and if i didnt he might do this to my sisters so if ilet him keep doing he would never hurt my sisters and he never did.he had a room in the basement,by this time my realbrother was not doing sexual things to me as much as david jr was,at night when everyone was sleeping he would wake me up and bring me to his room in the basement and he would hasve sex with me till he felt that enough was enough,i dont kno wwhy i went he was mean to me when he was performing these sex acts on me and when he wasnt he would tell me i was ugly and useless im a dirty little girl im skanky he would treat me like shit and i would think maybe if i do these things with him he'd like me?but i think he liked the fact that he could treat me anyway and i would still let him have sex with me and i did.i used to feel out of place whereever i was even in school i would attach myself i didnt want to be alive,my real brother david would take me in the woods and have sex with me there that only happened a few times then he stopped but david jr kept on raping me and molesting and i would perform oral on him alot,acouple time we almost got caught by my mother but it didnt happened we'd be in the bathroom i'd run out he'd act like he was using it or something sometimes he would come out of the bathroom half erected and sometimes i thought my mother knew and i was right she did know something was wrong but never asked i dislike her for that i still do.i remember for my 11th birthday i got my last gift as they or he would put it,it stopped but it was painful to live with it i never told anyone,till i met this girl kim i was 12years when i met her (shes my angel)the sexual assult stopped but sometimes some oral would come about... when i met kim she always asked me why i was so sad and like to myself and i was like i dont know? so i got to know her a little better then one day i asked if i could trust her and she said that i could tell her anything now kim was older like18 at the time so i knew i could trust he so i told her what has happened to me she got really upset and said that we need to tell my mother i told her i didnt want to cause she wouldn't believe me and she didnt she wanted to act like nothing ever happened at first she said that she thought something was going on but she wasnt sure she did see him with half erection and thought that something was happening then when i told her well kim actually told her everything that i told her,then when kim said that he son did it too meaning david my real brother she flipped and said that kim was filling my head with lies my mother hates kim to death i was with kim for 6years from wheni was 13 till i was 19years old. my mother still didnt want to take any action so kim said we should tell my father now i didnt want to tell him cause he didnt do anything when his brother (marty)molested my sister and i.but i tried anyway so we went to my fatthers house kim and i,i love my father to death my father didnt hesitate to call the police on both of them we told him the whole story i remember that day cause my father cryed like a baby i ve never seen a grown man cry like that never.so after the police got involved they told my mother that we cant live together meaning me and the boys so heres the really messed up part she made me leave and let them stay?i moved to another city with my father i didnt mind since it was in the newspapers and i thought everyone knew who i was and they did cause i lived in a really really small town and people talked,i hated school i never wanted to go and i didnt i always thought people looked at me odd one reason was because i was in a relationship with a woman that i loved to death so i always thought people knew i was gay,i think i was being paranoid.so when i had to leave my house and they got to stay i began to hate my mother for choosing them over me i still dont like her very much.my whole teenage years i spent them in and out of thearphy and counseling and tons of medication i felt like these people broke me tore everything i had good in me out of me i still feel that way sometimes.i have nightmares and flashbacks alot i think because i never really talk about it i stuff it way down into the pit of my stomach and mind almost like it never happened but it did and i know it did.finally david jr got sentenced to 3 years in jail and my brother david was to seek counseling for what he had done he never recieved it and never admitted to it but david jr admitted to everything and even tryed appologize to me its not the point i live in my own prison everyday my own guilt like what if i didnt wear that shirt what if i didnt do my hair that way or what if?my mother stayed with his father after this happened.he used to mentally abuse me too,he would call me a slut say that i wanted this to happen i egged them on that i was permusicus and i was a liar also,and she still stayed with him for 13 years she stayed i took the abuse.i felt dirty for a long time sometimes i still do sometimes i dothink its my fault.i date men but i dont feel like i can trust them i only think they want one thing and thats to hurt me,i know im wrong though,im strong i know i can defeat this nightmare that i have lived i try not to break down but i am human and i do fall but i do get back up and keep going,i have alot of anger and hate and fear i feel like i wear a mask to hide my real feelings or the real me i dont think i'll ever open up to anyone again its to painful.i could make a book on my life but i wouldn't want to bore u. so heres a chapter
Rachael's Story
The first time I was raped I was six. My parents and I went camping at this beach that had heaps of caves and dolphins and stuff.
I'd gone to the beach by myself and these two guys that were camping too came walking down the beach and said hi. They had either coke or beer with them, I can’t remember which. They talked to me for a while and then one of the guys asked if I'd been kissed before. I said no so he told me to lie down.
Next thing I know he's sitting on top of me and wanking and the other guy is pulling my dress up and my pants down. There is a big sausage red thing in his pants. It is pulsing and his hand is moving it up and down really fast. And then he tried to stick it in my mouth but I started yelling. I kept wriggling but he wouldn't get off me and then he splashed white stuff (cum) in my face he put his hand over my mouth and the other guy is putting something up me and it really really hurts and I try to scream and there is nothing but scaredness, I am so scared so so scared I am going to die I am 6 and I already know I am going to die his hand is there and I can't breath and the man slaps me in the face and tries to suffocate me and everything is going black but I wriggle too much it hurts so much the man is pushing whatever it is in and out of me and fuck it hurt. He is heavy on top of me, the other guy. I kick him so they let me go and walk away.
So I go to the toilet at the grounds and there is blood running down my legs and my throat hurts so I go to the tent but mum and dad are mad that I've gone away so Dad takes off his belt and whips me and I cry and cry but they think that I am being naughty. They don't care enough to look.
told my mum the whole story a few months ago because I told the police about it when I was raped again last year and they tried to find the men but my mum just said that I was a liar and that I was evil because I wouldn't be a virgin when I will be married and that if the police came around she would say I am crazy and a liar. I made a statement but I didn't pursue the case because my dad rang and said he would make my life miserable if I hurt my mother. But it was me that got hurt, not her. I don’t know if it was a bottle or a penis. And I don’t think it matters. It was penetration and it damn well hurt. That’s all that needs to be said. It’s rape as far as I’m concerned.
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