Lindsey's Story
Lindsey's Story
-Lindsey
I am 13 years old and was raped two months ago. He's 20 years old, a Dominican Republic native, with the most beautiful spanish accent. Everything about him and his personality was perfect. I was so googly-eyed that I refused to realize what I was doing. Thinking back to my day to day life then, I'm lucky I'm alive. He is now in jail, I'm not sure exactly for how long, but I know he's in there for many other things including drug dealing, armed robbery, and he's on trial for a double homecide. His bail is set at $50,000 currently. That's a lot of money, but I don't think it will ever pay back what he took from everyone. Personally, all the trust I had in anyone has vanished, I can't sleep, and worst of all I'm still in love with him. It's hard to tell the story in detail, partially because it's mostly a blur, and partially because I don't really have the strength yet. But being able to talk about it at all really helps, so thank you.
was raped in 1993. I can say that I still have bad days. I have tried on a few occasions to share my story, basically for selfish reasons, but I have never received a response or even felt that it mattered. So, I am doing this because I hope it helps someone and I need to know that it matters. I completed the required counseling, which again was little help to me because I was last on the list of priorities, I have no friends that I discuss this with, my realitives refuse to admit that such a thing ever happened, and the police in my area were and are inept.
It happened memorial day weekend. I lived with a guy that I was no longer interested in but he had no where to go and on and on. It boils down to, I did not have enough guts to say get out. Anyway, I was seeing someone I had been totally infatuated with years before. The person I lived with knew but did not want to admit it and move on. The person I was in love with was one of those every girl likes me, I'm not going to hook up with just one person etc.. types. On this weekend he was taking care of a house for a friend that went out of town. So my friend and I went to the party he was having. We were drinking with the crowd and by mid point in the evening, he pulled one of his classic well I have other options here and I can't be tied to you right now so why don't you go home if you want all my attention. My friend had disappeared with a fellow she was interested in and I was on my own. So I walked one block to the local bar in search of her. I stayed there and drank some more thinking she would show up instead the guy I liked did. We ended up arguing because it was obvious none of his other prospects worked out so he was back to me. I left the bar and walked to the corner pay phone and called the person who lived with me and begged for a ride. He said no and cursed me out for my actions that evening. Still no sign of my friend and I began to walk home. It was about a 3 mile walk and I was pretty drunk. As I left town, I did not see anyone behind me but once I made it to the country where the houses were few and far between he appeared from no where. As soon as I seen him, I knew something, I had a feeling, but I had a good led on him and thought maybe I'll get to house and they will help me or a car will come by. I didn't make it to a house before he caught up to me, dragged me off the side of the road and began to rape me. I don't remember somethings, but flashes show up in my dreams. I do know that at one point in time at the beginning I kneed him right when he was trying to get himself hard. He choked me, called me stupid, punched me in the chest and told me not to do anything like that again. His actions stunned me stupid and I gave in, except I must of kept screeming because he said I gave you a chance to stop being so loud and then he covered my mouth for the rest of the attack. I didn't take notice of features that I should have, I didn't even want to look at him and I didn't. Bad move on my part, this is the number one reason the police kept giving me for not being able to find him. However, I did notice all the cars passing by, not one of them stopped. The attack stopped and I don't know why, he ran into the wooded area behind us. I grabbed my things, fixed my clothes and began to run towards home. When a car started to pull over I began to run towards the woods so I could hide; I thought I was dead. It was another friend who had been looking for me. He took me home and went and got the police. Who came to my house, took a statement and sent me to the hospital. On the way to the hospital I rode in a separate car than the officer, we passed the guy that raped me and the officer kept on driving. He didn't even notice him. To make things worse the hospital forgot to perform some of the STD test and I was eventually told that because I could not give them a better physical discription they could not do anything else. Several people from the location I had started walking from gave a persons name but the police contended they did not have enough evidence. I guess it helped that his uncle was a police officer. Anyway, I received a phone call in July of this year saying that they had made a DNA match in my case. Apparently, the person that had been named so many years ago had been convicted of other similar crimes and had done something while in jail that forced him to give up a DNA sample. This caused a hit in my case. All we have to do now Miss, if you want to press charges, is review your file to see if we can make a case. GREAT, well I guess they can't make a case because its Oct. and I have still heard nothing. The only thing that happened was that I know for sure now who it was that raped me.
My life has been different since it happened. I won't bore you with all the details but I went through the suicide period, I did hook up with the guy I was in love with; had a ten year relationship and a son, but I allowed myself to be treated very badly by him, I can't find a person to date; I don't have the confidence for that, I almost immediatly gained 40 pounds, my hair is now a different color and I cut it. I do have my stuff together now as far as career and things like that not personal issues. However, I still have days when its all I can do to hold on to what I have had to work to reclaim.
I don't know if I can help anyone with this story or if anyone wants or needs to know more, if you do you can contact me. lisa_poolcues@hotmail.com.
-Lisa
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