It has been very helpful for me to read these.I finally am beginning to understand my anxiety a little bit.I too am a rape survivor.I was raped on two different occasions,at 13 and again at 14.Both by guys I had trusted completely.The first time was a double date and I didnt even know about sex then.I had some idea but no sex drive and no understanding of the male sex drive.Had I known how strong a guys sex drive is I would have trusted no man or at least would never have put myself in a vunerable situation.Now that I understand the sex drive in guys I do not put myself in a vunerable situation,not that all guys are rapist,but why take the chance.I like to be around my family and peoploe who I know are safe,it helps me to feel more in control of the situation.I am alone with nobody if its a guy.Just to be careful.Just reading the stories here gave me so much anxiety.Now I understand why I have so much anxiety from what I went through.The memories are awful.I could never understand why the anxiety but now I know why.If just to read these stories here gives me anxiety then no wonder I have it since I went through rape personally.Its enough to give anyone anxiety.Hell,just reading about rape victims causes anxiety.What a terrible violation of your self.God Bless all you girls on your path to healing.I am recovering too,I amm a 34 year old married mom with two boys.I talk to him about respect for girls.I sure hope it sinks in.
-DeeDee
Anonymous's Story
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR ME
A MAN PRESSURING YOU TO HAVE SEX
SOMEONE INVADING YOUR BODY
YOU SAY NO
BUT HE GOES ON
YOU TRY TO SCREAM
BUT NO ONE HEARS YOUR CRY FOR HELP
AND YOU'RE CLOSING YOUR EYES
WISHING IT WAS JUST A NIGHTMARE
BUT WHEN YOU OPEN YOU EYES
YOU SEE THE SAME THING
YOU TRY FIGHTING HIM OFF
BUT HE'S TO STRONG
ITS THE LEAST PERSON YOU EVER EXPECTED
YOUR BOYFRIEND
YOU WISHIING IT WOULD END
THAT YOU COULD JUST WAKE UP
AND EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE
YOU THOUGHT THIS PERSON LOVED YOU
AND WOULD GIVE YOU THE WORLD
YOU TRUSTED THIS PERSON WITH ALL YOUR HEART
YOU TOLD THIS PERSON YOUR DEEPEST SECRETS
BUT ALL HE TOLD YOU WAS LIES
YOU CLOSING YOUR EYES ASKIN THE LORD WHY?
WHY ME?
YOU LOOK INTO THE EYE OF YOUR ENEMY
AND HE'S STILL GOING
LIKE HE DOESNT CARE
HE ACTS LIKE HE DOESNT FEEL U PUSHING HIM AWAY
LIKE HE DOESNT HEAR YOU SCREAMING
YOU WISH SOMEONE WOULD COME
BY YOUR SIDE AND MAKE HIM STOP
BUT NO ONE COMES
SO YOU SIT THERE
FINALLY ITS OVER
HE KICKS YA OUT THE CAR
SPITS ON YOU AND SAYS
"THANK YOU BITCH"
-Anonymous
Jo's Story
It just happened last year, and today actually, was the first day I told someone the whole story. I went and told my school counselor about it.
Last year I went to go visit a guy friend and I was expecting 2 people at the house- when I got there, it was more than two but I didn't think anything bad of it. Then a 3rd, 4th and 5th guy came in and I started to feel very uncomfortable and tried to leave.
I dunno.... I don't like details but all 5 of them raped me. First, it was the guy I knew- he started it all and I can't belive it still because we were FRIENDS and I knew him for awhile and he just basically gave his friends the 'ok' to fuck me. MY GOD I was in that house for at least 5 hours because when I ran out, it was around 5-6pm and I know I arrived there at 12pm. They would not let me out.
I was so emabarrased because I ran out the house half-dressed and people were looking at me....and it was cold outside.
