Chelsey's Story
Chelsey's Story
I was coming home on a bus, while I was living and working in Mexico. I was all by myself and thinking about the millions of things I had to do for the program I was in charge of. I fell asleep and when I woke up there was a man sitting next to me. I was sitting on the window side. He started talking to me, we had the same conversation I had with everyone I met cassually on the street or in the bus. Where are you from, what are you doing... I told him which busses I took, the area I lived in, the organizations I worked with.
Then he started to touch me. First he pretended he was obsessed with my rings. Then he put his hands all over my belly, and into the stretchy skirt I was wearing. I asked him to please stop and told him that the program I was working on did not allow me to have amorous conduct. He promised he wouldn{t tell and he kept touching me. He put his fingers inside of me, three of them all at once. I started to cry and he told be to be quiet or someone might hear. People were on the bus, all over. Even standing up.
He put his fingers in me, and it hurt becuase we were jerking along a bumpy rode, making quick stops to let people on or off. Then he reached into my purse. I thought he would rob me. He pulled out my lighter. I thought he would light a cigarette.
He held the lighter in his hand and put his fingers back inside of me. He was so rough and his hands were so big and hard. I was so confused and I did not know why he was still holding the lighter, but I felt it against me as he pushed and pulled at me. And then he pushed the lighter inside of me. I could not move. I tried to scream. I tried to move. I could not cross my legs or move his hands. I looked out the window and realized what a long ride I had.
He got out after 45 minutes. I did too. He ran the other way and I got into a taxi.
There is no peace when this happens. There is no peace when this is being a woman.
Afterwards, I went home to staff house and told no one. The next day I told the other director I was working with, and he asked me why I could not scream, becuase he was just trying to understand exactly what happened. I did not have an answer.
I told Alba, a woman from one of the places we partnered with, and without her I would never have gotten through the summer. My friend Sita happened to be living in Mexico and she came, and between the two of them I somehow managed to manage the program until all 59 volunteers, 6 supervisors, and other director left the country.
I went to another city in Mexico to study then, where I finally saw a GYN with two new friends and urging from Sita. I learned how to tell people, and I learned that I am ok when people know. I learned how to tell people in English, in Spanish, I learned that the language was less important than the feeling. I will send of the GYN report so that the police report Sita, Alba and I made earlier this summer can be finished.
And I hope to god that that pinche italian-mexican man is not getting on any more buses, is not hurting and more girls. So I have t do something. It hurts so much, but I cannot stand idly by. Instead I play music, I make art, I work with young girls in expressing themselves and I let people know what happened to me. Becuase I beleive in peace, and when this is happening there cannot be peace.
Anonymous's Story
I dont even know where to start. I am one of those people who thought this could never happen to me. I was way wrong. My mom is an alcoholic, i have been beaten and verbaly abused by her for years. When my parents got divorced I moved with my mom and sister to a different state. One year later i started high school. It was great, a lot of guys liked me and i had 4 boyfriends within the first few months. Ihad met this guy who had just moved in behind me he was a little more than a year older than me and we quickly became friends. we became best friends and then in march of 03 we started going out. we were so happy and everyone thought we were the cutest couple. Things changed he did bad in school and dropped out, i stayed with hi. the year went on and we stayed together through the summer. At the beginning of the next school year i left him. We were still best friends and hung out alot.i met a new guy a few weeks later and we were really close. my ex got very jelous. he always told me how much he loved me. about a month after we broke up i started getting really tired a lot. the doctors said it was b/c of my anemia. on septemner 10, i fell asleep at my best friends (ex boyfriends) house in his room. we always took naps together so i felt completly safe. my friend called and i talked to her for a minute and then was go beck to sleep. That is when he started kissing my neck i said no but he didnt listen. He started kissing my mouth and touching my boobs. i said no a million times but he didnt listen he wouldnt get off of me. i was in shock i couldnt move. he unzipped my pants and pulled them off. i was crying and begging him to stop. He put his fingers inside of me and asked me if i liked it. i said no but he didnt listen.Then he pulled down his pants and got on top of me. i closed my legs but he just pulled them apart. then i felt him inside of me. ripping me open. i was crying and begging him to stop. i told him he was hurting me so bad but he said it would feel better and that he loved me and wanted to show me. i told him i was sorry for breaking up with him but he didnt stop. finally he stopped he started crying and i pulled up my pants and ran into the bathroom. He said he was so sorry and he thought i wanted it. How could i have wanted it when the whole time i was begging him to stop!!!!!! He said he was gonna commit suicide and i told his sister to call her mom she did they took him to a hospital and he is in there now for 3 days. i havent told anyone except one of my very close friends. i dont want anyone to know. i had to get it out tho to people who would understand.
-Anonymous
LJW's Story
everyone says oh it's not your fault if you said no and you resisted then you ok it's not your fault but what if you didn't what if you were only five and i was your 12 year old sister and brother?? what if you didn't day no and WHAT IF, WHAT IF you didn't hate it?? well then it is your fault and you are awful....
-LJW
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