Amanda's Story
Amanda's Story
I was on vacation. About a month ago. My family was staying at this hotel in Florida. One day, my sister and I were walking along the docks and this guy caught my eye. Every time we'd walk past, he'd smile at me. I instantly loved his smile. After a few days of walking past and doing nothing but smiling at him, I got up the courage to ask him if he wanted to hang out at the beach after he got off work. He agreed and gave me his work number to call and make plans. That evening I met him and a group of his friends at the beach. We walked along the water and played volleyball. Then a bunch of his friends started drinking [not him though- he said he wasn't into that stuff] so him and I walked back to his friend's car. We went to his sister's house and we were all hanging out, listening to music and watching some MTV movie.
He was whispering in my ear...about how cute he thought I was. Then he took things farther. I told him I didn't want to. Tried to stop him. But I wasn't strong enough. Finally him and his friends went outside, laughing and drinking and I left.
I pretended nothing happened until a week later, when we got home from vacation. That's when I told my mother and stepfather. Both of whom didn't believe me. My step father accused me of "getting what I had been asking for" and my mother said "it's not rape if you want it." I've been to the police, but my mother and stepfather have them convinced I wasn't raped. They're denying that I was even out with anybody while on vacation.... -Amanda
Anonymous's Story
it happened during what was suppossed to be the best weekend - it was my last weekend in college, a few days before graduation, and everyone was going out to celebrate and party one last time together. i went to a bar with some friends, including my friend who had been my 'friend with benefits' and i had been in love with him for over a year and a half. at the bar, i kept running into old friends and everyone was buying each other drinks. i didn't think at the time that i was drinking too much, but now i put a lot of blame on that fact, on thinking that i could keep drinking and drinking. but i was with lots of friends so i never thought much about toning down my drinking.
i ran into this guy who i had met a few times over the course of the past four years, and every time we had met, he had hit on me, told me i was beautiful, tried to kiss and touch me. i had never been attracted to him, and in fact had thought he was disgusting and annoying. but he bought me a drink and kept leaning in to kiss me. the bar was packed with people and smokey, but i kept trying to push away from him. it seemed every time i turned around he was right there next to me. he kept asking if i wanted to go for a walk with him, and i kept saying, 'no, i'm fine in here.' and i kept looking for my best friend that i was in love with. i suddenly couldn't seem to find any of my friends, and started to black in and out. the next thing i remember was being outside on someone's porch, and this guy saying, 'touch it'. i was so confused b/c it was so dark out, and i had no clue where i was. i said 'no', completely confused and he took my hand and put it on his penis. it was hard, and i tried to stand up. i remember a group of people walking past the porch, and i said ,'all these people...' . one of the people walking by said 'oh my god, look at that girl' --- as if I was the one that was disgusting. and then the next thing i remember was being dragged up a flight of stairs and shoved behind a chair. i just remember the sound my shoes made as i was dragged up the stairs. he shoved his penis in my mouth and i gagged and he pushed my head up and down on it. i gagged on his cum, i tried to spit it out, but he kept my head and mouth shoved on his dick. the cum went all over my face and hair. i heard my best friend calling for me and fell over when i heard him call my name. i ran down the stairs and he was standing outside the house, looking for me because he saw me leave the bar. he said that i came up to him and said, 'please dont let me leave with the guy who is buying me drinks.' i dont remember anything else, but my friend took me home. we washed my face off and washed my hair in the sink, and brushed my teeth over and over and over.
i lost 15 pounds in month week, and have stopped talking to most of my friends. i am irritable and mean, and meet with a therapist once a week. i told only three of my friends, and when i told them, even though they were so wonderful and tried to be understanding, i felt ashamed and kind of regret telling them. i know everyone says 'its not your fault', you cant help but think that maybe, if only, i had not gone out, or maybe, if only, i hadnt let him buy me that drink, or maybe, if only, i could have hit him or punched him... i obsess over what happened and feel dirty and digusting. i cant forget the taste of his dick or the smell and taste of his cum in my mouth. i cant forget any of it. its only been three months but nothing is getting better, and its making me a mean, angry, person. i am hoping that time will heal my wounds, because i can't heal myself on my own.
-Anonymous
This stories starts when i was 15 on November 17, 2002. I was at home with my stepdad and no one else when all of a sudden he pinned me on the floor and tore all of my cloths off. I try to fight him off but in the end he won. He took me up to his room and raped me in every possition he wanted to. This went on for 3 hours while i screamed in pain but he never stopped and no one camed. He said that it was time that I become a women and no be a virgin anymore. I was very scared when it felt like he had peed inside of me but all he said that it was natural for a man to do that inside a women when they have sex together. He told me that if I ever told anyone of anything that happened that day that he would kill me.
1 month I had caught a bad case of the flu but my mom seemed to think it was something else. So my mom took me to the doctor and have a pregnancy test done and it tuened out to be possitive. I never told her that it was my stepdad all she said was that she was disappointed that I didn't have safe sex and that since I got pregnant I was going to have to have the baby and raide him or her. Since it was my fault for having sex in the first place.
I so darn scared and didn't want to tell my mom who was the father because I knew if I did tell her my stepdad would ill me. So i went through with the pregnancy and are having the baby on August 17, 2003. I don't know if I'm having a baby boy or girl though. I hate my stepdad for getting me pregnant and raping me but I don't know what to do when I have this baby.
Copyright © 2002
