Lee Ander's Story
Lee Ander's Story
This is really tough. I was determined to keep quiet from now on, after being disbelieved and treated like I was psychotic,etc. but of course I cannot.
I was alone in my apartment, asleep when someone (more than one, from what I have determined) got into my apartment somehow (since I was asleep, I have no idea how) and raped me, apparently (from the symptoms) every way possible. I knew I had been raped, at first, because I distictly remembered having gone to sleep on the living room sofa and I awoke on the bedroom sofa, not knowing how I had gotten there, and feeling pregnant (odd, I know, but I usually know right away.)
Also, the blanket I use to cover up with in the bedroom was damaged beyond belief, with axle grease marks and smelled like a pig. The odor of cheap wine was all over the apartment, and men I don't know kept giving me strange 'come on' looks, all over town. Particularly, at a college I attended, though, the boys in some of my classes and in the hallways kept giving me knowing looks.
I figure it was a professor in one of my classes and some of him 'followers' that did it, (I can't say how I know, though -- there's not enough room here to properly explain it.
But I was hurt and confused that these men would do this to me, when all I was doing was attending classes, working (I had a work-study job) and keeping my grades up, (I have a 3.0 average.) In fact, I was one of this professor's best students, earning an A in one class and a B in another. I don't hang out at bars; in fact, I hardly go out anywhere. I haven't dated in 13 years, by choice, waiting instead for the man whom God intends for me to marry, (I do know who he is, and we are in love.)
It pains me that he has been hurt by this as well as me. I know it hurt him deeply that this happened to me. It happened on a Sunday evening after 10 p.m.(the time I went to sleep after studying all week-end for an exam,) the Sunday before Thanksgiving -- (Merry Christmas, huh?) I guess some people just never get what Christmans is supposed to be all about....
It pains me that he has been hurt by this as well as me. I know it hurt him deeply that this happened to me. It happened on a Sunday evening after 10 p.m.(the time I went to sleep after studying all week-end for an exam,) the Sunday before Thanksgiving -- (Merry Christmas, huh?) I guess some people just never get what Christmans is supposed to be all about....
But I intend to survive. I know my lover still loves me, he has let me know that, and I look forward to one day marrying him. He understands that I in no way had anything to do with this and he believes me when I tell him I have been totally faithful to him for the past 13 or so years, long before we even met.
Anonymous's Story
I don't really remember much about my childhood. The things that I do remember eat away at me everyday of my life. Until now 6/2003 I was living in sort of a denial phase. I knew bits and pieces of what has happened but was not willing to let it all become a reality. The person who molested me for at least 10 years would still come around and I think the only reason that I allowed him to still come around was because I was afraid of making people mad at me and was also afraid people might know. What I was told recently by my mother was that when I was 4 years old I told her my father was touching me wrong and she says she asked him about it and he said he wasn't so she kept us all there. So I am assuming it had to have started around that age and went until I was 13. I now have finally gone to get help mentally because I have been having alot of issues through-out my life; I don't really trust men, I am hypervigilent of my own 2 children, I yell alot and get depressed, and I have never been able to enjoy any sex acts-I pretty much only do it to procreate. I have my first appointment tomarrow. I am hoping things will start to go better. The funniest thing about it all is 2 days ago he came over whining about not being told Happy Fathers day. So I started getting mad and told him I was going to go see a shrink on Monday-he got very flustered and he started to bring up things and talk about how much pain he goes through and how hard life is for HIM! I finally started standing up for myself and told him at least I can walk away with the fact that when I look at my children all I see is babies, and will never see them as anything different. He then left and said he wouldn't ever come back and I told him that is a good idea. Then later that night around 10:30pm he came back and said "I love you, d you forgive me yet." I told him I wasn't ready yet and he said, "Don't punish me for too long." I was so in shock by this, I didn't realize until he left that he is still after all these years trying to manipulate me into feeling sympathy for him. I am still trying to get up the nerve to turn him in and put him where he belongs before it is too late for justice. If there are any of you out there who have put the person rsponsible for your pain behind bars please tell me how you got the courage to take that step. Thank you for listening to my messed up story and here is a little about me as I am when I write this.
I am 21 years old and have since May 15th, 1998 been living with my husband. We got married October 19th, 2000. We're coming up on our 3 year anniversary and our two children are boy 30 months and girl 10 months. We are happy and learning to love all over again. You are welcome to email me and I hope that maybe you can do more for yourselves than what I have done. Please no matter what is said to you stand up and get the help.
as a young girl living in a little city with not many friends i was always confused..when my dad died i felt like it was the end of the world..then my mom met a new guy and all of a sudden dad was forgotten.i would stay up in bed and cry but no one care..i was about 8 when i started to develope.i grew breast and starting becoming a woman.then at the age of 10 i was molested by my step dad he said not to tell my mom so i didnt then when i was 11 he raped me..i was scared and lost..so i moved to florida now i live a new life as a 13 yr old things i shouldnt have had to dealt with happened..and they happened so fast i felt helpless..now im scared of many things but life goes on and i found my realese through music
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