Some Difficulties Survivors May Face

• Inability to initiate sex: Initiating sex may feel dirty to us, so many chose not to initiate it.

• Avoidance of sex: Many of us find sex so distasteful that we avoid it completely.

• Inability to say no: Saying no often has had reprecussions for survivors, which leave us feeling unable to refuse someone else's desires.
• Sexual Promiscuity: For some of us, sex was the only way we found affection. Other survivors may feel that they can reclaim control by seeking out intimate situations themselves.
• Fantasies of rape or abuse: This can cause immense guilt in survivors, sometimes compounding the idea that the assault was "asked for." However, in our society, women in particular are taught that sexual desire is unladylike. Many of us find that sexual fantasies of rape and abuse allow us to enjoy our sexual natures within the boundaries society has set for us.
• Triggers during sex: The sounds, smells, sights and physical sensations we feel during sex can sometimes trigger us, producing an uneasy reaction, panic attack or flashback.
• Difficulty becoming aroused or maintaining arousal: Sex is often associated with such painful memories that arousal feels impossible to us.
• Feeling that sexuality is uncontrollable: Sexual contact has left us feeling powerless and as if the abuser could not control his urges. Many of us feel that those feelings apply to all intimate situations.
• Confusion about our sexual orientation: Many survivors who are gay or lesbian wonder if the abuse caused them to become homosexual.

Reference:The Sexual Healing Journey A guide for survivors of sexual abuse. New York: Harper Perennial.