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Message Board & Chat It's not hard. May 30, 2007: Telling Updated Feb. 6 2008: Sitemap added and Resources links updated News! Launched April 2009: Our Pandora's Project Site comprising fantastic survivor resources including including articles on many aspects of sexual assault and healing, a lending library, plus Pandora's Aquarium message board and chat Please participate in or view the wonderful Survivor Mural Project Sister Sites      
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Welcome to Surviving to Thriving. My name is Jes and I was raped in April of 2001. I am very glad that you are here, looking for the support that you deserve.
If you have recently been raped or sexually assaulted and are looking for resources, please click here to learn more about your options. However, no matter how long ago it occured, healing from sexual violence presents us with enormous difficulties.
After I was raped, I felt terribly isolated until I met other survivors and found that I was not alone, which is why I created these pages. I very much hope that this site will help people feel less alone - just knowing that other someone else understands can help during the bleak and difficult moments of healing.
It is horribly difficult, but healing is achievable; we are capable of moving from survivors to becoming thrivers who remember the past and know that it affects us but realize that it does not absolutely define who we are and who we will become. Please stay safe as you explore these pages because much of what is written is explicit and can be triggering. Many of us struggle with blaming ourselves for the assault or abuse. No matter what course of action you took, it was not your fault. It does not matter if you accepted a ride from a relative stranger, were intoxicated at a party, trusted a friend, accepted what a family member told you as truth, or were raped by a spouse or significant other. You did not deserve what happened to you. We all have the right to safety and respect; in retrospect, it is easy to criticize ourselves for the course of action we took, but the truth is that the fault always lies in the hands of the assailant or abuser. Please know that what happened to you is very important. I chose to dedicate this site to survivors of sexual violence because all sex crimes are violent, even if there were no bruises or the abuser didn't use physical force These crimes are very hard to heal from. It does not matter if it happened years ago or if you have been told "It wasn't a big deal." It does not matter if it was not a completed rape, if it only happened once or if you were not physically hurt. It does not matter if you weren't physically touched, but were subjected to sexual activity or material that disturbed you. Any type of sexual assault can have a major impact on our lives. You deserve to heal. If you are not sure that what happened to you is important, please click here, where I hope you will find validation for your feelings. If you are wondering, or know that you are pregnant as a result of your rape, I know that you are facing difficult choices. Please read this article about rape related pregnacy by clicking here. As a survivor, healing has been the most difficult challenge of my life. I have felt strength, despair, hope and weakness. Please know that whatever you are feeling, there are people who understand you and want to talk to you. We will get through this and we will do it together. If you are the supporter of a survivor, I am glad you are here to learn more. Some ideas for helping your loved one can be found here and ideas to help prevent sexual assault can be found here, but I hope you find all of the information in these pages to be useful. I hope you find healing and comfort as you explore these pages. They are a work in progress, so please email me at jes@survivingtothriving.org to let me know what you think or give a suggestion. If you would like to talk to someone, please look in your yellow pages for your local sexual assault crisis and education center or call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE. You do not need to be in crisis or calling about a recent rape. Sexual assault counselors are here to provide support and information for all of us, no matter where we are in the healing process. I wish you gentle strength and courage during your healing journey.
Note: I wholeheartedly believe in counseling and therapy as a resource. These pages are written by me, a rape and child sexual abuse survivor, not a mental health professional. We all need to know that we are not alone in facing sexual violence and that is why I've created these pages. If you need to talk to someone face to face, please find a a counselor or therapist. |
