Shortly after returning to our hotel room, he woke me up to "take a goodbye" walk. The walk was to his room. I laid on the bed and passed out or blacked out again. I awoke with him inside me. It was futile to fight someone who restrains people for a living. I didn't leave right after. I guess it was shock. He raped me again and forced me to perform oral sex on him. Those parts are still foggy. I may never know all the details.
That first year was a real struggle.
I utilized alcohol to numb myself from the harsh reality of rape.
Now, almost four years later, I have learned to talk about it.
It's not always easy.
It is sometimes a struggle to trust, especially someone in authority, but I try hard not to generalize.
I have learned a lot about myself & about the humanity of our world.
Through my connection with other survivors, I have become a better me. The focus isn't about him or what he did.
The focus is about me & how I survived and how I can hopefully help other survivors come to find the peace that I have.
Email me
Search with Goodsearch to benefit Pandora's Aquarium
Copyright © 2002 This material may not be reprinted without written permission from Jackie