The Facts About Sexual Assault

Rape and Sexual Assault

In most, but not all states, rape is considered to be any sexual penetration with a person who does not consent. Oral, anal and vaginal penetration all fall under this definition and the definition usually includes penetration with a penis, finger or other objects. Attempted rape is just what the name suggests. Sexual assault is any non-consensual sexual contact, which can include fondling or unwanted touching. Basically, all rape is sexual assault, but not all sexual assault is rape.

Most countries and states have statutory rape laws, which is defined as sexual contact with someone below the legal age of consent. The legal age of consent varies from state to state and country to country. You can find information about your state or countries laws by visiting Age of Consent but please be warned that this site may be triggering. Your local rape crisis center should have the information as well.

In most, but not all states, consent is not defined by the lack of a "No!" but instead by the lack of a "Yes." As a result, it is important that we all communicate our expectations about sexual relationships. A brave and honest man wrote about how he raped a woman. She never told him to stop touching her, but instead indicated that she did not wish him to continue. Read this story, which may be triggering, by clicking here.

Consent

• If he or she is under the influence of alcohol or drugs
• If he or she is developmentally delayed
• If he or she is unconscious or sleeping
• If he or she is under the age of consent, which differs from state to state.

Sometimes we have difficulty actually saying "No," so we do things that mean "No."

• Cringing or turning away from touch
• Shielding one's body
• Crying
• "I don't want to do this."
• Freezing. Many people will become motionless when confronted with unwanted sexual contact.
• "I'm scared"

According to a study conducted by Linda E. LeDray, author of Recovering from Rape, only 24% of survivors screamed during their rapes, while approximately half were too frightened to physically resist. Silence or lack of struggle does not equate consent. Consent must be given and cannot be assumed.

Confessions of A Date Rapist is an article written by a man who realized he had raped when he looked back on a night he had spent with a woman.
*Note: This describes a rape in detail, from the perspective of the rapist and may be triggering.

In most states, consent does not legally mean the absence of a "No." It means the lack of a "Yes." However, in other states, a woman must prove that she has resisted the rape for it to be legally considered rape. In my opinion, laws in these states must be changed to mirror the ones that qualify rape as "real" whether or not resistance is offered. If you live in one of these states or have been denied the opportunity to prosecute, it does not mean that you were any "less raped" than anyone else. It means that the laws in your state need to be reformed. If this is the case, I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center to find out what you can do to contact lawmakers about creating laws that will give other survivors the option to prosecute in the future.

If you are being sexually harassed, please let the offender know how you feel about it. Doing it in writing, while keeping copies of any letters sent or received is probably the best way to do this, in order to protect yourself legally. In addition, you may want to document what is happening, by keeping a journal including the details of what happened, when it happened and who was involved. Sexual harrassment is illegal and there are laws to protect your rights. Contact your Rape Crisis Center to find out more about what you can do to stop what is happening. No one should have to put up with harrassment.

• Rape is a crime of sex.
  Rape is a crime of power disguised as sex.
  

• Only women are raped.
  Men are raped, women are raped and small children are raped. This is unfortunate but true.
• Women secretly want to be raped
  It is not uncommon for women to have rape fantasies. However, I believe that this is a result of women feeling that expressing their sexuality openly is bad, mainly due to societal beliefs. Some people may fantasize about rape in order to express their sexual desires, while feeling as though they are not "bad." But no one likes to be overpowered, with their choices taken away. Ever.
• Only sexy looking women are raped.
  This myth exists because people view rape as a sexually motivated crime. Again, it is not. Rape is a crime of power, perpetrated by people who find gratification in overpowering. It doesn't matter how sexy or attractive the victim is perceived as being.
• Women who dress provocatively deserve to be raped.
  The words "dress provocatively" can be replaced with any number of different words, like "are intoxicated," "flirt with men," or "hitchike." The truth is that no one deserves to be raped, no matter what they were doing. It is not up to someone to avoid being raped. It is the obligation of people to decide not to rape.
• Normal men don't rape. I would be able to tell if someone was a rapist just by talking to him.
  Most rapists seem normal to their friends, families and co-workers. They just hold people in low regard and do not understand or do not care about the consequences of their actions.
• Women falsely accuse men of rape all the time.
  Instances of false accusations are no higher for rape than any other crime.
• If a woman is raped, she might as well sit back and enjoy it.
  This myth allows men to feel that rape is permissible, but it is patently false. Survivors of sexual assault usually find that damage has been done to their view of the world and their views of themselves as a result of the way someone has taken control of their bodies. Again, no one likes to left without choices, especially when bodily integrity is violated.
• If rape is not physically resisted, it is not rape
  Humans, and all animals have three responses to danger. We either fight, freeze, or flee. Many people fearing for their lives or bodily integrity freeze. There is no choice in that reaction. It's just what happens.
• Some people are just biologically driven to rape.
  
People do not rape because they want sexual gratification. They rape to overpower. I'm going to be frank here. Masturbation provides sexual release and does not turn a person into a criminal. A lot of people choose that option, rather than becoming criminals.

• In 2000, there were 261,000 victims of sexual assault. 114,000 of thse were victims of sexual assault, 55,000 were victims of attempted rape, and 92,000 were victims of completed rape.
• One out of every six American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetimes. A total of 17.7 million women have been victims of these crimes.
• In 1999 nine out of ten rape victims were female.
• About 3% of American men, or about 2.78 million, have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.
• About 44% of rape victims are the age of 18. Three out of twenty rape victims are under the age of twelve.
• Blacks are about 10% more likely to be attacked than whites.
• Prosecuting is not easy, nor does it ensure a conviction. Out of the 28% of rapes that are reported to the police, there is only a 16.3% chance the rapist will end up in prison.
• Factoring in unreported rapes, only about 5% or one in twenty rapists will ever spend a day in jail.
• In 1999 only a little over one fourth of rapes were reported.
• Approximately 62% of female rape victims in 2000 knew their assailants.
• Approximately 43% are raped by a friend or aquaintance, 17% by a partner or significant other, 34% by a stranger and 2% by a relative.
• In about one out of three sexual assaults, the perpetrator was intoxicated or under the influence of drugs.
• Only about 6% of rapes involved the use of a weapon. 80% of victims reported the use of physical force.
• About 4 out of 10 sexual assaults take place in the victim's own home. 2 in 10 take place in the home of a friend take place in the home of a friend, neighbor or relative. 1 in 10 take place in outside, away from the home and 1 in 12 take place in a parking garage.
• 43% of rapes occur between 6pm and midnight. 24% occur between midnight and 6am and the other 33% take place between 6am and 6pm.
• Ages 12-34 are the highest risk years, but risk peaks in the late teens. Girls aged 16-19 are four times more likely to be raped.

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